Don't fart ... There's a reason.

Vada Pav, Burgers, Pizzas and every thing nice have two things in common.

1. They taste Great

2. They make u fart!

A survey suggests that if all the 100 billion+ people of the world fart generously ,all together, they may generate enough methane and organic gases to increase the temperature of the earth by 5 degrees.

I wonder who did this survey and how he went about it!

Doesn't matter, does it?

5 degrees may be well enough to melt a handsome amount of polar ice.

Not only that - trees will dry up, deserts will expand , rivers will not remain and worse.

If you want more scary consequences of "global warming", google a little- you'll loose your sleep.

That's why i say - "don't Fart". But can we ignore the nature's call?

There are two ways to define a 'pessimist'

1. "A pessimist is he who looks left AND right before crossing a one way road"!

2. "A pessimist is a person who thinks the world is down and out, and there's no cure to the global warming".

There Sure is a CURE for global warming.

Grow trees , Don't cut 'em, Dont waste electricity .... All well said.

Practically , we won't cut trees, we're no axe men. But we surely can grow more trees and use less of paper or reuse the reverse side of used ones.

- In this respect, i say the "Paper shredder" is one of the most ridiculous inventions ever! I have still not figured out how it makes life easier for you and me.

Anyways, lets see how we can do something more constructive.

One of the finest suggestions to control the warming , according to me, is to save electricity.

YES saving electricity can check Global warming.

We all switch off our lights when not necessary and same with fans and ACs. Don't we?

If not look around ... Your toilet light may still be on!

DO join the crusade against the warming and turn your lights off.

{Actually all the TV channel owners have sworn in to save the planet. Ever guessed how?

Well, That's exactly why they dont broadcast any good shows! And you turn the TV off!}

Energy management plays a crucial role in battling our misery.

Politicians, Netas, Leaders, Babus or what ever you like to call them, have ever been promising all kinds of stuff, claiming that they're THE best when it comes to helping earth. But VERY few have kept their words.

Believe me, if there was an invention that could convert all lies and crap our politicians speak into energy, we might be facing a problem of plenty, in terms of energy!

I just hope our politicians get to work.

Google-ing a little will let you know how YOU can save earth ,if you've not started yet.

So , i wont waste electricity typing those suggestions here.

But i'll remind you to do your bit for the planet we share.

If you can't follow those suggestions around, the best way to help is..

..

...

....

DON'T FART.

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Mumbai Meri Jaan??

Aye dil ! Hai mushkil jeena yahan
Zara hat ke zara bach ke, yeh hai Bombay meri jaan!!


Ah yes! Those are lines from some random famous bollywood movie.

The reason i take pains to copy paste those lines is to suggest that even in those days Bombay,if not Mumbai, was not a very pleasant city to live in.I came back only yesterday from the "Financial capital" of India and believe me it's perhaps even worse today!
If you have ever cared to see a T.V. travel show about Mumbai , they ususally call it ,rather safely, the city of contrasts.It's that way because thats the most positive expression one can give for Mumbai and plus you don't get want to mess around telling the truth with the "Sena" around!

Of-course they just don't call Mumbai "city of contrasts" without reason.

On one side u have the world's largest slum and on the other u have the the posh shoping malls..

Where u find overcrowded local trains, suddenly an empty one passes by.(it's kinda humiliating!)

Here's my fav : Worli bus stop is called "Worli Village" and Dharavi is called "Dharavi Terminus"! (for those who didn't catch the humor: Worli is perhaps India's most developed areas and Dharavi is the WORLD's largest Slum!!!)

I traveled to Bombay (hey lets call it Bombay. it sounds better) by train. Arguably rail travel in India is good. But the first impression about Bombay is not soothing. Not soothing? Nay, it's DISGUSTING. All you see is filth and filth and filth. Ah yes and in the middle of all this u have a towering skyscraper,just to live up to it's own repute of being a city of contrasts!Any way , i just covered my nose with a perfumed handkerchief and just moved on... just like a diver taking precautions before taking a plunge.
Very soon , i realized that Bombay was far too populated.

Give this a thought : u have local trains running at intervals of 3 mins - all of them overflowing with Mumbaikars... and yet u have traffic on the roads! Oh boy!!

On the positive side, u have fairly good footpaths here. Footpaths without vendors!U can walk past the Mercedes and Volkswagens which are stuck on the road , and if u feel like playing a practical joke, just give it's driver a BIG smile!(u can imagine how that man would feel - U buy a car for 15 lacs which boasts a top speed of 300kmph and here, u have a guy who walks past ur investment while he is still stuck!!!)

But Mumbaikars reputedly never give up. U ought to pay a price for that BIG smile!if the footpath is ur territory, the Zebra crossing is theirs.The moment they realise that u are going to try crossing the road, they floor their accelerators.

psssst here's a secret to cross the road: just keep walking and tell them:"I'm crossing. U bang into me and u'r going to jail buddy!"

Also, Bombay makes u realize the banes of technology.Every guy and gal there seem to have the cell phones glued to their ears.Hey! Here's a suggestion for u, if u are of the same breed - Try blue tooth!No one seems to bother about one another here. It's like "Mein , Meri phone , aur woh"!

.... To be continued




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BITSAT Exam.

3 things happen today

1. I give my BITSAT.

2. I go into a state of Excitement + disgust.

3. I realize Mumbai is one of the worst cities ever. <>

Having done Miserably in IIT JEE, GujCET, ISAT - Bitsat remained my only hope.

i was determined to do well, and yes i put in a quiet deal of efforts into my preparation.

Result - Not handsome.

I know many of u out there are eager to know about BITSAT , hence i write this blog at the earliest. I hope my friends get to benefit from this.

First of all lets get a feel of bitsat and the atmosphere around.

Like most other exams, in this too parents and students crowd around the gates and best wishes fly around in the air- your job is to catch as many as possible. Most guyz try to laugh off their tensions and gals cry them away. Very few turn up without fear.I did not carry any tension with me, but somehow the atmosphere makes your heart beat harder.

A staff then emerges from the building and calls - "Candidates - This way!".

People stare at each other , shake hands, turn pages of books and some even tryout muscle stretching while others take an auto ,back home (Bunking exams!).

As you approach the hall u can already smell computers.

Vigorous identity verifications take place - all thru bar code reades and biometric thumb prints!

I was already impressed!

Inside the room there are 100 odd computers and one big mean machine with a dozen people surrounding it. Yes , if u are a hacker, u know ur target pretty soon - thats the server.

It has all the 1.5 lac questions , and thats the machine that'll bug u for the next three hours of ur life. And the questions don't seem to be pretty.

Here's is a review of the questions:

Level - maths slightly tough, PC easy, E/R Tough - Tough.

My score is not great coz i just did not lady luck with me 12th morning.

but i'm sure all those who have been preparing for iit/aieee should find bitsat a cakewalk.

My tip

hey.. my tip doesnot suggest how u shud be studying at the last minute or any thing..

I would say, Do your round of morning prayers wholeheartedly .

LOTS depends on luck.

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Who invented the "spell check"?

"Toh hum aaj kya padenge ma'am?" , i asked my english teacher as she passed by me.

"angrezi ... grammar " she returned.

I noticed she took pains to speak that one word of Hindi, but she made her point clear through her stern eyes - "It's English time."

As she reached the teachers table after her routine rounds near our benches, "page 43, english grammar textbook" she said.

None of the BBA's had their text books. So we gave a blank look at the rest of the class. (Oh ! btw BBA is Back Bencher's Association!).

The class turned pages, we shuffled the deck of cards.

The daily exercises started , and the cards were distributed.

The teacher continued with her teaching and the BBA with it's game of "Chokdi".

The game started , and a thought came into my mind "Should i be playing right now?".

Then,i got a slap on my neck. "Your turn " one said.

I dismissed all my thoughts and got involved in the game.

We were failures at English, but we didn't care. We didn't care one bit for anything except PCM and sports!

3 months later...

i.e. Today...

Most of the examinations are over. But one is still to go...BITSAT.

It is a prestigious exam - a ticket for a prestigious college.

There are two things bad about BITSAT.

1. It is conducted late... Very late. by this time moods have shifted from studies to play.

2. They test ENGLISH.

And believe me, English is tough.

As i prepare for the exam and try to recollect what we had learnt in school, nothing but the "Ace of Spades" comes to my mind.

Not a poem, not an idiom, not a proverb comes to my mind.

I am all regrets today.

Really?

Guyz, i'm an optimist.

Look at the positive side of it.

i've never touched the book, so, today it is brand new!! Very few can resist a new book!

As i opened the book , the Queen of hearts popped up - That's a good sign!

Now i'm going thru the book , trying to learn what i missed 3 months ago, Trying to improve my bloody english.

If by chance ,after going through this blog, you think that my English is not so bad after all (which is improbable) as there are no spelling errors... u're wrong!

That's not a consequence of my studying English for the past 3 days , or my time in the english class...

It is wholly due to the invention of a software called "spell check".

That's why i ask - "Who invented the 'spell check' ? " - I love him!